Thursday, December 30, 2010

Ukisikia mwanamke ndiye huyu. Siyo unakuwa na nyonyo za kutafuta






Bra Size 100 Z. Actual Book of Guinness World Records. No fooling and she's smiling. Yikes!
Never say anything about your boobs again. Don't ever complain about your size! Send this to all your female friends so they can appreciate what God gave them ...

And all the men to appreciate what their girlfriends have...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

WHERE WERE YOU, WHEN LOVERS USED TO WRITE LETTERS WITH DICTIONARIES


Classic....

Dear Sugar
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why this miraculous thing happened is because honey I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and a fabulous girl. Darling please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear.. My medular-oblangata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true.. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off here because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.
Yourz Elvis

REPLY


Dear Honey
My Love, My Sugar, I was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when I have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why I am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to make it Schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart..

My honie, I am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that I write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then I would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then I know that I will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Carey sanged it, you know that it is my favourite song honie. The one day that we were boarding the transport and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.

If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against mariah carey Anyways, I will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always be writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea.

Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

mambo ya facebook


duuuh! huyu mdada nilimchomo kwenye facebook, nikasema watu wameumba tofauti yawezeka wewe ujawai kukutana na mwanmke kama huyu

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

MMMMH!


Na Rhobi Chacha
KABLA ya siku arobaini (40) kutimia tangu kifo cha Mkurugenzi Msaidizi wa Bendi ya Diamond Musica, marehemu Parfect Kagisa ‘P.Diddy’, mchumba wake ambaye ni Mtangazaji wa Kipindi cha B&M kinachorushwa na runinga ya Taifa (TBC1), Maimartha Jesse ‘Mai’ (pichani) anadaiwa kupata bwana mwingine.

Mtoa habari wetu alitupasha kwamba Mai amepata bwana mwingine ambaye amemuwekea mikakati mikali ya kumficha ili asijulikane mbele za watu kwa kuwa ni mapema mno tangu kutokea kufiwa na kipenzi chake P. Diddy.

Pamoja na kuonekana kwamba bwana huyo ni mpya lakini mtoa habari wetu amedai kuwa Mai amekuwa na bwana huyo kwa kipindi kirefu hata kabla ya kifo cha P. Diddy.

Baada ya kupata nyeti hizo, mwandishi wetu alimvutia waya Mai na kumuuliza kuhusiana na suala la yeye kuwa bwana kabla hata ya siku 40 za kifo cha P. Diddy, mtangazaji huyo alishindwa kukanusha habari hiyo.

“Unajua pamoja na P. Diddy kuondoka duniani lakini bado yuko rohoni mwangu, kuhusu suala la kuwa na bwana mimi ni binadamu niliyekamilika, kwanini nikose bwana au unataka nimbiwe kuwa ni msagaji?” Alihoji Maimartha.

Katika kudhihirisha kwamba ni kweli ameamua kumpa kisogo P. Diddy na kujivinjari na bwana huyo, Mai alisema kwamba muda ukifika kila mtu atamjua mpenzi wake, kwani hilo siyo suala la kuficha na mapenzi hayafichiki.

MENGI AFICHUA NJAMA ZA POLISI KUMBAMBIKA MWANAYE 'UNGA'


Mwenyekiti Mtendaji wa IPP, Reginald Mengi.

Maofisa waandamizi watatu wa Jeshi la Polisi nchini wakiwepo wa Kitengo cha Kudhibiti Dawa za Kulevya pamoja kile cha kimataifa (Interpol), wameingia dosari baada ya baadhi ya maofisa wake kudaiwa kutaka kumbambikia dawa za kulevya mtoto wa kiume wa Mwenyekiti Mtendaji wa IPP, Reginald Mengi.

Mkuu wa Kitengo cha kudhibiti dawa za kulevya, Kamishna Msaidizi wa Polisi, Godfrey Nzowa, na baadhi ya maofisa wa polisi akiwemo Mkuu wa Upelelezi wa Kanda Maalum ya Dar es Salaam (ZDCO), Charles Mkumbo, wamedaiwa kuhusika katika mchezo huo mchafu wa kutaka kumwekea dawa za kulevya mtoto huyo, Abdiel Mengi, katika uwanja wa ndege wa kimataifa wa Mwalimu Julius Nyerere.

Akizungumza na waandishi wa habari jijini Dar es Salaam jana, Mengi alisema tukio hilo lilitokea Septemba 26, mwaka huu siku mwanaye (Abdiel), alipanga kusafiri kwenda nchini India kikazi.

Mengi ambaye alizungumza kwa majonzi makubwa, alisema kwa bahati nzuri, Abdiel alilazimika kuahirisha safari ndipo mchezo huo uliposhindwa kufanikiwa, lakini vigogo hao walikuwa wameshapokea nusu ya malipo ya kazi hiyo.

Alisema Kamishna Nzowa, Kamanda Mkumbo na ofisa mmoja wa kitengo cha Interpol ambaye alimtaja kwa jina moja la Henry, waliahidiwa donge la Dola za Marekani 40,000 wakati vijana wawili ambao ni wafanyakazi wa uwanja wa ndege waliahidiwa Sh. milioni 15 kila mmoja.

Mengi alisema baada ya kupata taarifa kutoka kwa wasamaria wema, alilazimika kufuatilia tukio hilo kwa kina na kubaini kuwa maofisa hao walipokea nusu ya malipo ambayo ni Dola za Marekani 20,000 kila mmoja wakati vijana wa uwanja wa ndege walipewa Sh. milioni saba kila mmoja.

Alisema mchezo huo ulimhusisha pia kijana mmoja ambaye anafanya kazi katika moja ya kampuni za simu nchini ambaye hata hivyo hakumtaja kwa jina.

Alisema kijana huyo naye aliahidiwa Sh. milioni 15 na kwamba alipewa Sh. milioni saba kama malipo ya awali.

“Niseme tu kwamba naridhika sana na utendaji kazi wa Jeshi la Polisi na tunaweza kujivunia utendaji wa viongozi wa Jeshi hilo kama IGP, Said Mwema, Kamanda Venance Tossi, Kamanda Suleiman Kova, Kamanda Elias Kalinga, Kamanda David Nisile, Shilogile na wengineo wanaolitumikia Jeshi hilo kwa nguvu zao zote na kwa uwezo mkubwa,” alisema.

“Lakini kwa bahati mbaya kuna viongozi wachache katika Jeshi la Polisi ambao wanaharibu sifa nzuri ya Jeshi hilo, wanaweza kuliletea Jeshi letu sifa mbaya hapa na pale...ni kwanini nimesema hivyo, nitoe mfano mmoja hai unaoonyesha viongozi wachache ndani ya Jeshi hilo wanavyoweza kufanya jeshi la polisi lionekane halifanyi kazi vizuri,” alisema Mengi.

Alisema: “Tarehe 26, Septemba, mtoto wangu anaitwa Abdiel alipanga kwenda India kikazi pamoja na marafiki zake watatu, lakini kwa bahati nzuri tulielezwa kwamba kulikuwa na mpango wa kumbambikia madawa ya kulevya na kwa mapenzi ya Mwenyezi Mungu aliweza kuahirisha safari yake.”

Alisema anavyomfahamu mtoto wake, ni kijana mwadilifu asiye na tabia mbaya hususani kujihusisha na dawa za kulevya.

Alisema viongozi waliohusika katika mchezo huo wameonyesha jinsi ambavyo sio waadilifu katika kuwatumikia wananchi.

Mengi alisema uchunguzi wake umebaini kwamba mchezo huo uligharimiwa na mmoja wa wafanyabiashara ambao aliwahi kuwataja kama mafisadi papa, wanaohusika katika ufisadi mkubwa nchini.

Alisema uchunguzi wake umebaini pia kwamba mchezo huo mchafu ulitengewa Sh. bilioni tatu.

“Ushauri wangu, nadhani hawa watu hasa walioko Polisi hawapaswi kuwa pale, ni watu waovu hawajali mateso ya wenzao...this is more inhuman (hii ni kukosa utu) huwezi kusema hii ni rushwa, ushauri wangu ni kwamba waachie ngazi waondoke jeshini halafu kama ni Mwislam aende msikitini kutubu, Mkristo aende kanisani kutubu, wamrudie Mwenyezi Mungu,” alisema Mengi.

Alisema iwapo vigogo hao wataona wameonewa, wanaweza kwenda mahakamani ili mchezo mzima ujulikane huko.

“Kwa kuwa nchi yetu inazingatia utawala wa kisheria, nadhani wataenda mahakamani watashtaki kwa kuwachafulia majina, nimejiandaa, nina uhakika hata wao wamejiandaa, kama wanataka kuumbuka zaidi,” alisema.

Akizungumzia tuhuma hizo, Kamishna Nzowa, alishangaa kuhusishwa na tukio hilo na kueleza kwamba hamfahamu Mengi wala Abdiel na kwamba kamwe hajawahi kuchukua fedha kwa nia ya kumbambikia mtu madawa ya kulevya.

“Hiyo tarehe yenyewe unayoitaja mimi nilikuwa Ethiopia na unajua mimi sio mwanasiasa wala mfanyabiashara, ningefanya hivyo kwa interest (maslahi) ya nani?” alihoji na kuongeza:

“Simfahamu Mengi na nina uhakika pia yeye hanifahamu, maana ingekuwa tunafahamiana ningesema pengine tulikorofishana sehemu fulani.”

Alisema hivi karibuni, kitengo chake kilikamata dawa nyingi za kulevya mkoani Tanga na wahalifu walitaka kumhonga dola za Marekani 120,000, lakini akakataa kwa sababu anaiheshimu kazi yake.

“Itakuwa dola 40,000? lakini Biblia inasema wanaomtumainia Mungu hawataaibika milele, ukimcha Mungu hutaaibika...mimi sitaenda kushtaki mahakamani najua Mungu atawaumbua hao walionitungia uongo,” alisema.

Kwa upande wake, Kamanda Mkumbo alikana kuhusika na kusema kwamba: “Mimi ni ofisa mkubwa ndani ya jeshi siwezi kufanya hivyo kwa interest (maslahi) ya mtu...mtoto wa Mengi simfahamu, ila namjua baba yake kwa kumwona kwenye vyombo vya habari.”

“Sijui nitafanya nini, lakini nadhani Jeshi la Polisi (viongozi wangu), watafanya uchunguzi kubaini ukweli na Mengi atatoa vielelezo vyake, napenda kusema kwamba taarifa hizi ni za kughushi hazina ukweli wowote kwa asilimia 100,” alisema.

Kwa upande wake, Henry alipotafutwa simu yake haikupatikana jana.




CHANZO: NIPASHE

DAH! UNAMKUMBUKA HUYU MSHIKAJI

HAPA BAADA YA MDAHALO YUPO NA WASHIKAJI


Wapenzi na mashabiki wa msanii Joseph Mbilinyi a.k.a MR II na wale wa chama cha Demokrasia na maendeleo (Chadema) jijini Mbeya wakiwa wamemzunguka msanii huyu nje ya ukumbi wa Mkapa baada ya kutoka kushiriki mdahalo wa wagombea ubunge jimbo la Mbeya mjini

MR.II ATIA FORA KWENYE MDAHALO WA UCHUKUZI MKUU MBEYA


Mgombea ubunge wa jimbo la Mbeya mjini kupitia chama cha Demokrasia na maendeleo (Chadema) Joseph Mbilinyi a.k.a MR.II akiingia ndani ya ukumbi wa Mkapa jijini Mbeya kwa ajili ya kushiriki mdahalo ulioandaliwa na asasi za kiraia mkoa wa Mbeya (MBENGONET) kwa ufadhili wa asasi za kiraia Tanzania,huku akishangiliwa kwa nguvu sana

who says wedding have to be expensive




HARUSI AHIITAJI MBWEMBWE KAMA UNA VIFUNGU VYA KUTOSHELEZA UNAWEZA UKACHACHUA HIVI TOSHA KABISAAAAAAAAA.

Monday, October 11, 2010

pata koti zuri la mvua


ukitaka kujisitiri wewe mcheki huyo cjui mama, binti au nani vile ujipatie koti zuri la mvua

JAMAICA C MCHEZO




Hapa warembo na washikaji kibao wakipita sehemu tofautitofauti wakiponda raha kwenye hii sayari ya tatu

JK,MWANA FA, NA PROF.JAY WATINGA KWENYE BIRTHDAY YA KIKWETE


PROF.JAY NA MWANA FA WAKIPIGA STORY MBILI TATU IKIWA NA KUMPONGEZA JK KUFIKISHA 60YRS.

ABDALLAH RAMADHANI CHANNEL 10-AFARIKI DUNIA


Picha na habari kwa hisani ya Global Publishers
Kituo cha Televisheni cha Channel TEN na Redio ya Magic FM cha jijini Dar es salaam kimepata msiba kwa kuondokewa na mmoja wa watangazaji wake mahiri na vijana, Abdallah Ramadhani (Pichani) ambaye amefariki dunia katika ajali ya gari Ijumaa wiki hii.

Marehemu Abdallah Ramadhani alipata ajali hiyo akiwa njiani mjini Beira, Msumbiji akitoka Afika Kusini kurejea Tanzania Alhamisi tarehe 7 mwezi huu.

Taarifa zaidi zinasema kuwa marehemu alikuwa kwenye gari aina ya Toyota Prado ambayo ilipasuka tairi la mbele na kupinduka mara kadhaa na hivyo kusababisha kifo chake mara baada ya kufikishwa hospitalini.

Mara baada ya kutokea kwa ajali hiyo iliyompasua kichwa, familia yake ilifahamishwa ambapo mdogo wake aitwae Hussein alikwenda kumuangalia hospitali alikolazwa kabla ya kufariki.

Abdallah atakumbukwa na watazamaji wa Channel TEN kwa usomaji wake wa taarifa za habari kwa umakini na ufasaha na kwa wasikilizaji wa Magic FM. Kabla ya kufikwa na mauti, alikuwa katika mapumziko ambayo aliyatumia kwenda nchini Uingereza kwa siku kadhaa kabla ya kupitia Afrika Kusini ambako alipumzika kwa siku chache na baadaye kuamua kurejea nchini Tanzaniakwa njia ya barabara kupitia Msumbiji.

Pole kwa ndugu, jamaa na nyote mlioguswa na msiba huu.
Apumzike pema Abdallah Ramadhani.

AMEN.

Monday, September 27, 2010

MTOTO WA KIZIMBABWE ANATEST ZARI KWANGU TE TE TE




Dearest
Firstly, I thank you for your reaction to my mail, in line with the message, which i have sent to you.How was your night over there in your country, i believe you had a nice night and that the atmosphere over there in your country is very nice today? Mine is a little bit warm over here in Dakar Senegal . I am Miss Nancy Juliet Zaya, i am from Zimbabwe , i was born on 4th of May 1987. i am undergraduate in the school of nursing in my country zimbabwe . i am fair in complexion, height 5.6ft, my hobiess is Reading , Singing, Writer and cooking. due to political war crisis that happened in my country 2008 my late father Dr. Edson Zaya was the the MDC treasurer for Ward 9 in Shamva North in Zimbabwe my parents were been killed and our home are been burnt to harshes , because he is not in support of Zanu PF of President Robert Mugabe. when i return back from school i saw our home and my parents are been killed therefore i have to ran to a refugee camp in near by country Dakar Senegal to take a refugee there. I do not have any relatives now whom I can go to all our relatives fled in the middle of the war the only person I am now with is the Rev.Pastor Jonathan, who is a pastor (United Church of Christ) here in the camp he was very pleasant for me since I arrived here, but I do not live with him, and I live in the female hostel because the camp have two hostels one for male the other for female. If you want to mail him reverend .(revpastorjonathan@priest.com) Pastors Tel number (+221765227000), if you call, tell him that you want to talk to me, he would send for me in a dormitory women. when my father was alive he deposited the sum of ( $ m 5.750 )(FIVE Million Seven Hundred and fifty Thousand US Dollars). in the bank , which he use my name as the next of kin. but since i have been trying to apply to the bank for them to release my late father funds to me so that i can use it to start up life and contiune my education, but the bank refuse due to my refugee status that I do not have any right or privilege to do any thing be it money or because of my age to handle such huge amount . it is the only Rev. Pastor that is in charge of the refugee camp that knows about this money, all that i am looking for is honest, caring, faithful, God fearing and open minded person who will help me to tranfer this fund as my foreign partner, so that from there you can send me some part of the money to get my traveling document and my flight ticket to come and leave with you over there in your country. if you really care to help me out kindly write me back so that i will give you the bank contact information and as well introduced you to the bank as my foreign partner and please for the safety of my life here try keep this within you avoid me losing my life.
Once i see your names in full and contact, i will send the bank contact details to you, so that from there you will make contact with them Concerning the account and find out The possibility of transferring this fund into your position.i really appreciate your concern, waiting for your urgent response so that we can proceed.Please send me your full contact
1.Your country name ..............
2.Your phone and fax number ...............
3.Your working place and position in the office ..........
4.Your passport number ......
so that i can use it to write a letter of nomination to the bank so that when you contact the bank, they will know of a truth that you are coming on my behalf
take care of yourself and God bless you
hope to hear from you soonest
yours in love
Nancy Zaya

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Rais wa Tz, Dr.Kikwete akipanda miti


kama tulivyomuona baba wa taifa Mwl.j.k.Nyerere akiwa kwenye shughuli za ujenzi wa taifa naye Dr. JK afuta nyayo zake, kwa kupanda miti

Baba wa taifa Mwl.Nyerere kwenye shulighuli za ujenzi wa Taifa




hapa tuna muona Baba wa Taifa akijituma katika shughuli mbalimbali za ujenzi wa taifa ikiwa katika zoezi la upandaji wa miti upasuaji wa kuni na kubeba mawe kwa ajilia ya hujenzi wa shule.